New day, different plan...

Todays ultrasound showed 3 good follicles and 1 that may catch up. We went into todays appointment with the plan of converting this to IUI, getting our 90% refund from shared risk, and pursuing a donor egg cycle. We have decided to go thru with retrieval. I know that there is not that great of a chance for success. I know that there is not that great of a chance to even make it to transfer. But, there is a chance, and this may be our only chance. The Dr said that it is not likely that I would respond any differently to another protocol. He said that given my age (32) that there is a good chance that the few eggs I have could be good quality.

Although this is a long-shot, at least we will know that we did everything that we could to concieve a baby with my eggs. I like that the Dr was quite positive about going forward - I like that he wasn't all gung hoe about cancelling (I think some docs would be quick to cancell so they wouldn't hurt their #'s) He explained that we could look at this 2 ways : 1) percentage wise a donor cycle would be way more likely to be a success or 2) I am only 32 and giving this cycle a try might give us peace of mind knowing we did all we could ....I am somewhere in between. Our clinics donor program has an 85% pregnancy rate. I am a pretty practicle person and 85% is a lot more likely to get us to our goal - a family. The Dr said if he were us he would go to retrieval. That is all T needed to hear to decide that is what we should do.

It is very stressful to have a different plan everyday. There is a rack of pamphlets in the waiting room. One of them has big bold letters on the front that says "Infertility is Stressful"....Really!?!?! Today I had the urge to throw the rack acrossed the room , thank God I still have some self control.

I have started looking at the woman in the waiting room differently. Up until Sat. the thought of donor eggs really hadn't crossed my mind . But now I look at the woman and can pick out the donors (quite young & unmarried) . T and I may be going crazy, we pick out the donors and say "we'd take her" we laugh to ourselves -at least we still have a little bit of a sense of humor left. I joke that if we do have to go that route that I want to pick someone taller than me - I am 5'1" , if I can't use my eggs I might as well increase the height of the family.

I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I need to go into the next couple days with the thought that this cycle still has a chance - even if it is a small chance - it is still a chance. We will probably trigger tonight...will know for sure this afternoon.