Imposter
I hardly know what to do with myself these days. These very, very slow days. They say that I am pregnant - yet I don't fell that way. I feel like an imposter, like I am holding a trial membership to a club that has never let me in before and the trial membership may expire at anytime. I know that it is very early and that at 5w4d that it is perfectly normal not to have a bunch of symptoms - logically I know this. The part of me that feeds my constant paranoia has not gotten the memo. At work ( where everyone knows) I go thru the day trying to avoid any conversation that could lead to pregnancy talk...DEFINITELY not ready for that! To the average person pregnancy = baby...I can't really think that far ahead. I want to, I really do, but I am not there yet.
Today marks the start of my Birthday Week! Yes, week. The first birthday that T and I were together I convinced him that my family celebrated the birthday week - a present a day for a week...he completely believed me and willingly participated, then he talked to my mother- perhaps I should have given her a heads up in order for her to back-up my story. Even though the Birthday week was not a long standing family tradition we continued it. Today I got a pair of Dansko clogs. A very good start! Can't wait for the next 6 days. Maybe a present everyday will make the time go quicker. Maybe?
posted by D @ 4:27 PM
2 Comments:
I love birthday weeks. Happy birthday. I'm not wishing sicknesss on you but I hope you feel pregnant soon.
You read my posts and feel like you could have written them, and I feel the same about yours. If we had conceived in the "traditional" way, I really believe we wouldn't be going through these feelings. I'm at 6w5d, and the only symptoms I've had are sore breasts, fatigue, and indigestion. I've only vomited once (yesterday morning). I think if we had full on morning sickness, we'd both feel so much better about things, as crazy as it sounds.
Happy Birthday week to you! When is the actual day?
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